See, the thing is, I have no idea how to tell you people this story. I guess it's lucky that I have a taste for discordant forms of storytelling that follow nigh-on none of the rules of order, structure, or forceful suspension of disbelief: you will have to suspend your own disbelief, since this story is based on irrevocable deeper truths that follow no rhyme or reason aside from the filter of our perception.

I will break the fourth wall.

I will tell instead of showing.

I will make wild and ridiculous claims and entirely eschew the principle of burden of proof.

I will wretchedly abuse the art of prose, and you will read it. Or you won't. And I'll try not to think about that part, except for when I do.

Ultimately, all I want to do here is lay down some ideas so that I don't forget.